WHEN Sushy Dunmow suspected her husband was having an affair, she was desperate for proof.
Then one day, out of the blue, she received an anonymous note confirming her fears.
Legal secretary Sushy immediately called time on her seven-year marriage — but has never had the chance to thank the person who changed her life.
Sushy, 43, says: “Our marriage had been built on a web of deceit. Thanks to that letter, I’ve been given a fresh start.
“I hope some day that person will reveal themselves so I can thank them. It must have taken a lot of courage to write to me.”
Sushy, from Basildon, Essex, met Norman, 47, in 1999 and their relationship had all the beginnings of a perfect love story.
She says: “We were very much in love. I was working as a nanny for a family in London and I bumped into Norman on the street outside.
“He was a construction worker and I fell for his rugged charm.
“I invited him for coffee. From that day on, we were inseparable and four months later we moved in together. Looking back, it all happened too fast.
“In the early days, Norman was a true romantic. He sent me flowers every Friday and said he’d never met anyone like me before.”
Seven years later, the happy couple flew out to Las Vegas with 15 friends and family to tie the knot.
Sushy says: “Our wedding was the best moment of my life. Now I often lay awake at night wondering if Norman felt the same.
“Life back then was good, with trips to the cinema and meals out in nice restaurants.”
In 2007, the couple had a daughter, Louise*, now ten, followed by Tom*, six. Sushy says: “We were over the moon to be parents and we loved every minute.
“I loved Norman deeply but like all relationships, ours wasn’t perfect.
“Running around after two young children, I often felt exhausted and our sex life suffered, but Norman was patient.”
But in August 2013 things began to change.
Norman was taking more care of his appearance and staying out later. Sushy began to get suspicious.
She says: “Norman bought new clothes, lathered his hair in gel and wore aftershave.
“I joked that he was having a midlife crisis.
“Every Thursday he went to a local bar for drinks and he made excuses to stay late at work.
“Stupidly, I’d keep his dinner warming in the oven for when he got home. When a friend discovered her husband was having an affair, Norman said, ‘Sushy, I would never do that to you’.”
But deep down, she knew something was not right.
When Norman left his phone on the table, she saw it as the perfect moment to check — and her worst fears seemed to be true.
She says: “There was a message from a woman which said, ‘I miss you so much’.
“I was shaking when I confronted him.
“Norman said the message was from someone he’d met in the pub who had a crush on him. Incredibly, he convinced me he was telling the truth.
“Over the next few months, Norman made me feel like I was paranoid. I was torn.
“I was desperate to keep our family together but at the same time, I was convinced that I was being taken for a fool.”
It turned out that Sushy’s intuition was right after an anonymous note was delivered to her front door in January 2014. She says: “I’d just got home from the school run when the postman arrived. He handed me an envelope and as I read the handwritten note inside, my heart pounded.
“It said, ‘Dear Su, I can’t see you at the school gates any more and look you in the eye knowing that your old man is f***ing around’.
“I started to scream. Everything I had suspected was true.
“I rang Norman at work and when he had the nerve to deny his betrayal, I hung up.
“Collecting the kids from school later I scanned the playground, desperately trying to find out who the person might be.
“When I posted an update on Facebook asking the person to get in touch, they still kept quiet.
“That night, as I told Norman to leave, I was heartbroken but sure I was making the right decision.”
It was not until three weeks later that Norman finally confessed he had been seeing someone for five months behind Sushy’s back.
She says: “Friends thought the other woman sent me the note, but I know it wasn’t. Norman told me she thought we’d already split up.
“Now, I’m slowly piecing my life back together and I am so thankful for that letter.”
Norman Dunmow said: “I regret having the affair every single day. My children keep me going.”
*Children’s names have been changed.
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